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WANTING
Wanting
Wanting love
Wanting love to come my way
This
day
This hour
Alas but to wait another minute
Another second
Would be too long
I cannot wait
Now
This
moment
Her essence is vital to my existence
I need her to live
Without her I die
Without her love
I want to
die
For without her love
There is...
No life.
My Love Is Gone
Flowers lightly scent
The room full of light
Their
colors made brighter
By the suns streaming rays
They pour through the window
They bask o'er the room
So bright
So
clear
Is this room I am in
I can see just how alone
I am
The only shadow
Is my own
The only presence, mine
My
soul, my life, my self
Alone am I
For my love is gone
From this place
From my heart
From me
I Won't Hurt Any More
My tears flowed again this day
My
tears fill my eyes
My tears fall from my face
My tears from the pain you bring
Though they are tears they cleanse
my eyes
My tears clear my vision and open my mind
I won't hurt any more
I won't let your words in any longer
No
longer will they cut my thoughts to shreds
No longer will they slash at my soul
No longer will they tear at my heart
My
mind is free from the pain you bring
My soul now flies far from your reach
My heart is now guarded from your grasp
I
won't hurt any more
I am now gone from here
I am away from all the lost feelings
I have buried my past
I have
grown oh so much
I am alive once more
Leave, Said She
Leave
Said she
To me
In a fit of rage
Go
Did
her anger show
How was I to know
She felt trapped in a cage
Take
The love we cannot make
With you my love forsake
So
ends another page
Away
My heart did go this day
No my heart cannot die I pray
At such a tender age
Breathe
Does
my heart as I leave
No my love I'll not grieve
A new love will I engage
A vessel for my love
A vessel for the safe keeping of
my love
Does it exist
Could it be so that my love
Would forever be safe from pain, from hurt
Is there such a place
that will let me grow
In matters of the heart yet not let me suffer
This vessel for my love, Is it within your hands
Are
you holding that which protects my love
Will my love be safe with you
Will you save me
Would that the vessel of my
love be safe in your hands
To travel with you for an eternity
Then will I wait for an eternity, or die now
Lest I
endure the pain of a lost love
Or wait for an eternity for love to come my way
Would that an eternity could pass this
night
Love to be mine on the morrow
Alas, love has escaped these mortal hands
It has flown, chased by fear of pain
Ne'er
to be mine again
It should have been me....
I look across the room at you and
see you with him...
I try to hide the teardrop in my eye....
I walk away from where I am and leave you again....
And
in my heart I am wondering why...
It should be me that you are with
Through
the night into the morn
it should be me holding you tight
From the dusk until the dawn
I pray that one day you will see
That
all along it should have been me
To hold you close, to hold you tight,
In my arms.
Loves Light Fades
Loves light fills the room
The
newly married Bride and groom
Two lives just moments ago
Are
now but one life with a fiery glow
Alas though this is but only a beginning
With
their souls flying and hearts singing
As time goes by will their souls
still soar
As days turn to years their hearts sing more
Loves words leave their lips no
more
Senseless bickering behind a closed door
Where one life once glowed
Now
are two lives jaded
The brilliance of loves light
Has now faded
The Love We Once Shared
The horse draws
The sleigh along
Throughout
the falling
Snow in song
We gather this cold
And moonlit night
To warm our spirits
With friends far and near
Around
the fire
We gather and share
Its warmth
And brilliant glow
I with you
You with me
Do you think
The others
can see
That is all a façade
It's really not there
It's all gone away
The love we once shared
For 6 performances in
August of 2003, I had the opportunity to play the part of "Bill Sykes" in the stage production of the Charles Dickens novel,
Oliver Twist.
As I assumed the role of this character and crawled into the mind of Bill Sykes, I came to see the dark side
of a mismatched love relationship. As I looked into "Nancy's" eyes just before and after "slapping" her, I could see
just how wrong love can be sometimes when it is clung to for the wrong reasons.
In my poem, I alter Dicken's portrayal
of the final fate of Nancy and Bill. I hope he does not mind.
Michael
To Nancy,
Goodbye My Love.
Dedicated to "Nancy"
The love of "Bill Sykes" life
From
the play, "Oliver Twist".
Why do you do it?
Why do you make me so angry?
Why do you question me?
Why
do you turn me into a monster?
Why do you make me want to hurt you?
Why do you cause all these problems?
Why can't
you see everything my way?
Why can't you leave it alone when I say to?
Why can't you walk away from a fight?
Why
can't you just do as you are told?
Why can't you shut your mouth?
Why can't you open your ears?
Why is there so little
time for us?
Why is there always someone else to tend to?
Why is there nothing for me when I get home?
Why
should I stay with you?
Why should I put up with your ways?
Why should I deal with you?
Why should I take it all
lying down?
Why should I love you?
Why shouldn't I hit you?
Why shouldn't I hurt you?
Why shouldn't I slap
you?
Why shouldn't I beat you?
Why shouldn't I kill you?
Nancy...
I only know one way to love you...
I
only know one way to show you...
But this type of love cannot go on...
It will kill us both, first you, then I...
I
leave you now
Do not come looking for me
Let me go
Let me disappear into the mist
Into the everpresent fog
Engulfing
London Bridge
I will cross the bridge once more
Then never again.
Nancy...
It has to be this way
The last
time I saw you
I slapped you so hard
With such venom and force
You couldn't even cry
You were as shocked as I
I
cannot control it any longer
The fire within me
Consumes my better judgement
The flames ignite my passion for you
Just
as they burn through my love for you
And in the end there is only destruction
I do not want to hurt you
Any longer
I
now take my leave of you
Of this place
Of the only home I know
That I can continue my love for you
From afar
Is
the only way I know
I will not be the cause of
Your end.
I will love you always, Nancy...
Bill
You Don't Know Me
Do you know who you went to bed
with last night?
Have you any idea who you woke next to this morning?
Do you know who made breakfast, lunch or dinner
for you?
Do you know who you spent part of the day with?
Have you any idea who is in bed next to you?
When was the last time you looked
into my eyes?
When is the last time you actually felt my touch?
When is the last time you touched me?
How long has
it been since you actually talked to me?
How many words are in your average sentence spoken to me?
How long since you've been more
than an acquaintance to me?
How long since you've been more than a friend to me?
How long since we've been lovers?
How
long since we've been in love?
How long do I have to wait for you to find out
Who I am.
I have loved you for so long
I
have had so many dreams of how our life would play out
I had a plan for our retirement years
I so wanted to spend it
with you, together with you!
Now our children are leaving and you're already gone
I am left standing here alone because
somewhere, somehow
You forgot who I was to you
You lost all memory of who we were to each other
Now I am alone, in
life.. or is this death I wake to each day
Here I am between what was and what is, lost at sea
Now I have nowhere to go and no
one to go with
My heart continues to beat and my lungs to breathe
Time means nothing to me anymore
The night and
day are now one gray horizon that never changes
No moon, no sun, no rain nor snow.
Nothing
My senses might as well be gone
as well
No more do I feel or touch
There is nothing to see so why bother being able to
I'd rather not eat as it may
keep me alive one day more, so why taste
You don't speak to me, sing to me or call out to me
So why hear
Your
sweet scent has long been gone from here and from my memory
I would cry if I had any tears left
Alas,
the well of my tears is now dry
No more will I feel them on my face
No more will they soothe my eyes
At least when
I cried, I knew I could still feel
Who am I to you?
Do you have
any idea?
Who is the person standing before you?
Do you know of the love I am capable of?
Do you have any idea of
how much I loved you?
You don't do you
You have no
idea who is next to you
You have no clue of what love lies within me
You have lost all memory of what we were
You
do not know me
Michael F. Palmosina II
12.nov.2003
Three Words...
I wish I could say those three words everyone longs to hear
At times
I envy those who toss those words around
Like chicken feed to the ground
Woe be to them that one day those words should fall onto ears
That take
for granted the meaning intended
For they will suddenly be thrust into a relationship without knowing
Where it came
from, who it is with why it is happening
Do not say those words without first knowing
Is it real, do you really,
will you forever
Will it be undying, will it be the last
For if you say those words without true feelings
Without true meaning,
without true commitment
They will haunt you and never let you rest
Alas, but if you do say them, earnestly honestly
With full acceptance
of all that comes with them
You must also accept that you can never again
Say them to another with the same meaning
The words once used, once said, once spoken, once heard
Can ne'er be
used in the same way with the same meaning
With any other person save that one first spoken to
The words will fall from your lips oh so easily
And onto waiting ears
so deftly
As to awaken a burning feeling inside
The feeling of true love
The feeling of true oneness
The feeling of
true togetherness
The words, "I love you", use them freely with friends
Use them in every
way possible
With the one you truely love
I used those words once a long time ago
To express my true feelings for
one person
Alas, now I know I can never use them again
I still love that person
Yet the love is no longer vibrant and alive
Rather
it is just a thread to hang onto
Mayhaps this single thread remain strong
Perchance to combine with other
threads and strengthen, not break
And I can once again say to my love, I love you!
Should it e'er break and set me free to love again
I can only pray there
will be someone
To whom I can say those words again
I also pray I will have the courage and the strength
To say those words
one more time
To say to my new love
I love you.
Michael F. Palmosina II
11.nov.2003
Did I lose you?
Did I lose you?
Are you gone
from me
From my grasp
From my loving arms
From my presence
From my life
Have I been left to founder
Lost
and alone
Amidst a sea of thoughts
Of how it could have been
Had you stayed
And not gone away
What was
it I missed
What did I not say or do
What words escaped my mind
That you needed to hear
What expression did I
fail
To express to you
Now I am empty
A hole is in my heart
Where there once was
A place for you
You've
gone
And now my heart cries
The tears my heart weeps
Flow through my veins
A constant reminder
Of who is
gone from me
Of what I have lost
Of what I'll never have again
The breath of life
You gave to me
With each
"I love you"
That left your lips
Is now gone
I cannot breathe
The strength you gave me
To overcome my fears
With
your gentle touch
And loving embrace
Has been sapped from me
I cower in fear
Is there no way
I can get
you back
Into my heart
Into my breath
Into myself
Make me whole once more
My love, I know not
What I
did
To make you leave
But now I say to you
I miss you, I love you
Did I lose you?
Michael F. Palmosina II
24.nov.2003
Time
Time alone
Time apart
Time together
Time flies
Time goes by
Time
doesn't wait
Time marches on
Time
And time again
There is never enough time
For you and I
It seems our time
together
Is gradually becoming less
While our time apart
Is gradually becoming more
With tears now on my face
I
stare out the window
Into the sea of clouds below me
Knowing I am once again
Going farther away from you
And going
away means
More time away from you
And less time for us
Our time marches on
Marches away from us
Our time together
Fades
I
miss you
Michael F. Palmosina II
10.jul.2004
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